matt higgins

Everybody wants to be the boss, to be in charge. But what ambition doesn’t tell you is leading is hard work. For some people it just doesn’t come naturally. Or maybe all they’ve been shown is bad examples. I usually say good leadership starts with leading by example, and while that is 100% true, the real foundation to being a good leader is good communication. Here are five ways you can communicate like a leader:

1. Say Why

“We need to talk.” Get that message and instant dread, right? It’s not hard to avoid accidentally sending the equivalent of a “We need to Talk” message. It’s simple, actually. Just avoid asking for a meeting without stating why you want the meeting. If you want to talk to a member of your team, say why. You might have a simple, innocuous question, but even the most confident team member will, on some level, fear the worst. If you’re the cause of anxiety for your team, you’re not a leader. This isn’t about babying people. It’s about being an effective leader.

Telling people exactly why you want to meet provides them with the opportunity to properly prepare, which is a professional courtesy, and it prevents the above-mentioned unnecessary worry. So, before hitting send, use the lawyer or doctor test. If you received the message, you’re about to deliver, from your lawyer or doctor, would you see it as a cause of stress? If so, the fix is likely easy. Just include the reason. Your team can handle obstacles. They can cope with challenges. What stresses everyone is the unknown. Take the unknown out of the equation.

Worse than accidentally doing this is the sad fact that some people do this on purpose. That is not leadership. Leadership is not about power or control and it certainly isn’t about playing games.

2. Ask Completely

Similar to the above point about requesting a meeting, when asking a question via email or messaging, state why you’re asking. Instead of asking something like “Who picked the new homepage images?” ask ‘Who picked the new homepage images? I ask because I was wondering if they could send them to the social media team to also use.” The first version leaves the recipient to worry if there’s a problem while the second version makes the intent clear. If it takes you five seconds to write the question, it takes 10 seconds total to include why you’re asking. It’s just better communication. Just about every question should be followed with the equivalent of “I ask because . . . “

3. Actively Listen

This is a lost art and it’s unfortunate, but one of the most important parts of effectively communicating as a leader is listening, not talking. The key to active listening isn’t just allowing someone to finish his or her sentence. The key is not forming your response while you’re listening. Most people aren’t listening. They’re waiting. Waiting for the opportunity to speak. Actually listen. Focus on what is being said. Too often we listen only long enough to have a response, and we shut off listening as we wait to deliver our response.

4. Share Good News

Effective leaders delegate, but in a fast-moving environment, leaders can unintentionally only be communicating tasks and problems. Imagine if all your team heard from you is “I need you to do this” and “I need you to fix that.” That scenario really isn’t that hyperbolic. It can happen and when this becomes the norm, your team won’t thrive — it will just look to survive. When you meet as a team recognize what the team has achieved. Recognize what the organization has achieved. Share some highlights. Share good news. Keep your team informed.

5. Clear Expectations

If you communicate anything with your team, communicate clear expectations. People want to meet expectations, but it’s next to impossible when those expectations aren’t clearly communicated. Your team should never have to guess. Don’t know where to start? Start with a deadline. Everything should have a deadline. Next, state how much of a priority the project or task is. Last, give examples of what you expect to see.